Simbolism

You know sometimes you feel significant. You're standing in the middle of a park at night, floodlights shines at you, you feel grand. Then you see a fly-over in the distance, close enough that you can hear the cars rushing past. You're significant remember. They're just cars.

Then you tremble. Imagine this. You're in there in the park in need of an urgent help.

Put that in your head. Now watch the world roll by, headlights, brake lights. An office room switches off in the distance. You're still in need of urgent help. But deep thoughts and contemplations slows time down and let's you consider all these things. Its true. You think how small the world around you is. Your childhood was your own, and your friends are only a matter of houses away. A small knit group. And yet, these people, these people in the cars, in that office are like back-up actors and actresses in a life where you're the only one that matters and no one else. This makes you realise how big the world is. How small you are compared to the names you hear on TV. How insignificant you are to the government. How you are only a name on paper to them. Have you ever given it much thought that your successes are only shared with a small circle of people in your life, and they're insignificant.

Significance.

The people in the cars have lives too. They have their childhood in them. They had their share of losses and gains. So have you. You still cannot get the fact in your head, that you're one in 7-something billion. 
Then you shiver. You realise that if you were in that position, you only had a split second to think of all that and let it sink in your head. It was only a situational representation. Putting yourself in a lot of people's shoes at once, and simultaneously in yours too.



Let's warp. You're the leader of a community, popular, very liked, and helpful. All in all, a good natured person. People see you as a significant figure, a someone. You see it as something... Normal. You think that everyone can achieve where you are, and that you wouldn't mind giving it up to someone more capable. Nothing matters, nothing, except
That particular someone.
That significant someone.
That someone.
Isn't that person significant to you? You don't want them for anyone else. Thinking about them is like thinking of the hierarchy of needs. You long for them, need them.

Let's wrap. You're in both state of mind. Without in need of the urgent help of course. Feeling very insignificant to the world, very unrecognised. Yet someone else is a very significant part of your head. Or YOU're significant to someone.
Define significance.

Only a blacksmith.

It's one thing seeing a sword getting sharpened by the blacksmith, and another trying to train your brain into doing things specifically for you. In movies, all swords are perfect. Shields smoothly curved. We are never shown the swords thrown away because they were too thin. The shields still at work because it's not smooth.

Throughout the ages of growing up we sharpen our brains with new knowledge, new short cuts, new ideas and a constantly changing perspective of people and the world. We really never realise this. Imagine a block of stone, and one side is sharpened. This is your likes, and talents and what-nots. Only one side of say multi-facial stone. With that sharpened side, you're able to get through with life. This is the case for a lot of people. Others try to hard to see the world fully and try to work on everything from all-sides. At one point they find out too much and can't stop, until one day all the dusts are blown by the wind and they lose themselves. They're a totally different person. They can't think straight. They're not gone gone.. Just different. At this stage a new stone appears and see the stone like a new level in life.

This person will have to sharpen it again, but the stone seem to be bigger, more faces, and denser. But like all stones, once corroded, cannot be regained. A person may try to sharpen their mindset, but cannot lose them. It will always be as a stone. Or sword. Either an unsharpened sword, blunt to the blow or a sleek, elven sword, swift and slices through flesh.

When we try to re-sharpen the new stone, it won't be exactly like the previous one, not the same flaws, not the same advantage. But we will soon adapt to the changes and use the new flaws and advantages to be buried within ourselves and become us.

May the sword help you through the battle this life leads on.

Comfort.

As much as we deny things we don't particularly like, and yet we have had an attachment previously, we will never be able to let go of it. Ever. Your grasps of understandings will be less, and yet your grip just won't loosen up.

It's like, whatever there is to believe in so that you can defy your past, you won't let go. It's also funny that I'm writing this from another's perspective, and not mine. I guess I will never understand the deepest most personal emotions of one-self, and yet they will emit that vibrant subconsciously and, invisibly, release their inner-self slowly.

You know those butterflies that flutters when you're around that particular someone. You know that out-of-habit behaviour you do after a harsh day, not knowing what is normal, temporarily. You know when you've just finished school, and you have no idea what to do for a week, because school was a constant habit for a year.

After a while, these new things, become very usual. That butterfly? You know how to control it. That behaviour? You reversed back to normal the next day. After two weeks, you've reverted your sleeping schedules and routine to slack and laziness.

After a set period of time, you will be conscious of that little habit you left behind, and you would convince yourself as having very used to it. But no. You will always, always, revert back to your old self.
To put it bluntly; You are being you on a normal day then a particular object, or even a significant person, came along. This situation doesn't include any nostalgia nor anything that would be the upbringing of memories, but suddenly you're clear. You can think clearly, you can act even more normal, or back to your original, than normal. That the presence of someone, can be a trigger for you to finally find your way back within yourself.

Surreal realisation

As an observant of people, I get used to getting to know how other people feel towards others or things. It takes a while to understand the clockwork in such peculiar behaviours. I never got the hang of how I manage to understand a lot of these things until recently. I mean the world has held billions and billions of beings, each having their own single purpose and that not every one is the same.

A scientist who earns to research about plants and it's system will experiment with a real-living and breathing subject, in this case a real plant. He will also would want to reproduce the like in such a manner that he can use it as an innovation, in this case he will invent something artificial that will work like plants but are not real plants. This may be because he wants to know how the nature works without deceasing factors.

A car racer would test his driving on a simulator, or say he tried a new manoeuvre that might be fatal to his car, he would test this on a simulator to be sure that it is safe and won't go wrong and kill someone off.

The point isn't comparing an observant to any professional jobs like the ever-so-supported scientists and racers. The reason in the comparison is that their steps to achieve a successful result is by comparing a natural subject by an artificial subject. In the racer's case his idealism was the natural subject and the simulator as the artificial.

Seeing another person in another light, or any other person in general, isn't an easy feat, considering that one person can generate thousands of possibilities that can change the world in a  thousand different ways, literally. To reach to an agreement level we need to know what they are capable of in generating the possibilities around them. Like the scientist, he cannot understand the nature first hand, but rather by hypothesis-es made in the past and what plants have done through observation.

Okay no, we're not talking about how many possibilities people have, but how observations takes place. Unconsciously, an observant would imitate their subject in a way that they are virtually in their position, but still have that overall mindset of themselves. I wasn't aware of this at all, I just thought that being able to think like others was a plus. I thought this was normal.

I realised that what have kept me going and moving in the tidal motion was the numerous emotions and situations that people are in, in which I also simulate within my own reality to understand the differences in the world that is orbiting around us.

Now then, as a personal recall, it was a simple interval between breathing. It was no biggie, but I realised that it was a controlled breathing. Naturally we breathe involuntarily, unlike the heart beating, we can stop breathing instantly. I mean it is normal human instinct to be conscious of their breathing when someone points it out, but this was different. And then the thought struck me, it wasn't me being cautious about my breathing or the subject, but it was me asking 'why is he/she controlling his/her breathing?'. Ten the brainstorm came, conclusions emerged, and no definite answer appeared.

Disappearances

I stumbled upon this phrase in a book;

"Possibly it had occurred to him that the colossal significance of that light had now vanished forever."

I don't know how to start this, but it's just that oh I don't know. I know for a fact that I'm someone who longs for a lot of things. I also know for a fact that what I tend to long for are things that would really be very very precious to me. But of course, some longings gnaws more than others.

There are instances where I want things to happen like; know someone better, meet someone, write something or draw something. But these things are temporary. They tend to happen, and then go away as it is done.
Let me go off topic for a bit, this phrase basically means that, after a long time of wanting something and after hard work, when you finally reach the part where you get what you want, everything vanishes. Not vanish in a way that the work you did paid off, but more like, after all your attempts, failures and then getting back up, all you can think of is 'is this really it? This is what I longed for?'. It is that kind of vanishing.
I mean it happens, the fact that we are human and we never get satisfied of what we have. As a kid, I'd want a new gaming console and five games with it, I begged and begged. I proved my parents I earn it, but oh wait! When I finally got it, I barely touched it, I played it for a full day and left it to dust.

Back to what I've been saying, it's also not always your nature to not be satisfied. Say you want to know and meet someone so bad. Say he's a friend of your friend, and you've just met over the web and you guys just have awesome conversations. Say that. As soon as the day comes and you are to meet that friend, you are hyped. But then, oh this gets better, then he turns out to be the most arrogant, oblivious, and unhelpful person you know in person, where all your wants and longings to know a person in person just disappears.

A colossal significance that have motored you to your hopes and the wishful thinking of having someone new in your life and that he or she would have a big impact if you really know them in person just gone poof. Into thin air.