The interlacing law of life. (Part 1)

This is a new thing, I just thought I can write something about the different aspects of life and how the commodity sees it. How will I start it, you may ask? Well, start from the beginning of you, or anyone; the past. Haven't you just had enough of people telling you 'leave the past, there's a future'? Well I have, I've heard the phrase being said so much that I became sick of it.

The past in itself, relates to our memories in past times. These memories can bring smiles so wide out of nowhere, they were your most treasured happy memories, or they can bring the worse of you out, your regretted ones. In any way, these are memories, some forgotten, some remembered till the end. This is an aspect where, what happened before affects what happens now, and what will happen.

Back to not dwelling on the past, I cannot say that people who says that are actually wrong, but I can say that most of them don't even believe it. Without a past, there is no future. Just like; without wrongs, there are no rights. When someone tells me that I should just forget the past and move on, it's almost literally like saying 'Forget you have a left arm, it's useless' I mean, I'm right-handed, but I use my left for support when carrying objects, am I not right? You see, these are the views where people have missed. The views that people look down on. Every past will lead to a future. What happens in the future, really, isn't only affected by the past, but by the present, now you'll be thinking, what could've happened if you weren't reading this, right?

You are you, You lead your life, You make choices, You were born you, and will die as you.

The War within ourselves.

I don't exactly know where this is going to go, but a thought just skimmed my head; "The eye, brain and heart will never, ever make peace." At first, I just didn't understand, and probably still don't. What I know is that, in this context, the heart, of course is the emotions; the brain, as the power of will, or courage in a way; and the eye as the perspective, opinion, or may I say, judge the world.

Let's take the opposite gender, just because its such an easy example. Have you ever been in a position where you like this person, they're perfect to you, but you just think, its not even right? or where you have no affectionate feeling for this person, they're not that special, but you think, they're just perfect? or you like them, you have no objection against this person, but it's just not right? You gotta have said yes to at least one of those, if not all, right?

Us, as teenagers, have certain nights where we contemplate a lot of things in life, or on a daily basis, the day that we've just went through. There are probably events in which you really felt good about, with the people you're happy with, but logically, it's just not right, that part of the head where you think; 'that's not me!' or 'that's not how I'm supposed to be'. Maybe, just basically where you did something, no problem, but then you think again, you regret doing that? Yes, I guessed so.

These are periods of times where there's so much conflict in your head, it's hard to think. These are periods of time where your emotions (heart) contemplates one thing, and your mind (brain) contemplates another thing. These are times, where you balance out your actions, with your after-feelings, whether its regret, excitement, joy, rage, depression, in fact, any kind of emotions. These times, where you've have concluded your affection towards the specific events, are the times where you've calmly (or violently, your call) defined what you have done, what's your opinion on it, and what you should have done, or what you gladly didn't do.

You wake up the next morning, exhausted or not, feeling free of the previous day for the first 5 minutes before it all comes back down again. You get up and you think, what a night, or, what a day! Then the memories gets you thinking, what if something else happens today? what am I supposed to do? Should I choose the same decision, or should I try another one? This is probably an interlacing effect where it will never stop for the rest of your life, but, yes there's a but, if every night, or if you can do these split-second decisions about our actions, you will be able to live with no regrets. Live your life along with these conflicts and peace in your body, without regrets. Peacefully.

When a mirror of you talks back.

If you notice, all my post's title relate to the text, right?

Well here's the thing, I was watching this series, Lie To Me. It's all about deceptive techniques and all, and a patient suffers from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). It's nothing, I don't have it or anything, but it'll mean a lot in this post. okay, here we go.

So here's the thing, once in a while, have you looked at someone, and think, 'is that how other people view me?'. Well I have, several times. Not all occurrence were a negative viewpoint, I mean everyone, as pessimistic and masochistic people can be, they see good in themselves right? Here, I just want to relate, how it is to see yourself in someone else's eye.

I'm not really sure how this is gonna go, but I'm trying my best to put them into words. That episode of Lie To Me was about a soldier, who's given a silver star for bravery, but he almost killed his son at 12 am, out of a panic and paranoid episode. (episode in the context of 'period' or like 'panic attack') They try to find out what's making him have these attacks, when he's supposed to be happy with his star, and safe home with his family.

The deception expert group tried to re-enact the events that happened last on the battlefield, instead of helping the soldier, they trigger various attacks. breakdowns, flashbacks, panic, paranoid, anxiety. You name it.

On a smaller scale, this is how I see myself, neutrally. I don't think it really is negative. These flashbacks, which then triggers breakdowns. The soldier almost killed his son with a gun. I'm pretty lucky I don't own a gun, and lock myself at night, but, trust me, these scenes, are not fake re-enactments in movies. they happen ferreal.

Out of that in the way, you see, breakdowns, they're not what people think, emotionally. Yes, they emotionally hurt you, tears, rage, fear. But it affects physically. These episodes (once again about attacks, not series) can leave you with unbearable pain. Last time I had it, it was as painful as crashing to an asteroid. Cramps, headache, and un-controlled self-inflicted actions. Last time I had it, it was triggered by a simple, happy flashback. Last time I had it, I was on the edge, literally speaking. Pain.